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I was thrilled when Lacy reached out to me and said she wanted to share the perspective of a birthmom in an open adoption! Many thanks again to all who contributed in the open adoption series!
My name is Lacy & I'm a birthmom in a very open adoption. Like every adoption story, mine was & still is hard but amazingly beautiful on both sides of the spectrum. My son Eli, who is 9 months old, is now also my nephew because my brother, Steven, & Lauren, his wife of 8 years adopted him. Steven & I are 16 years apart so we were never all that close so when I found out I was pregnant I had no idea they were well into the adoption process and all they needed was a match. Within 5 minutes of finding out about this new life, the adoption was set. Since Steven & I are siblings, I thankfully get to see little Eli every 2 or 3 months & that's perfect for everyone involved.
Now as for crazy birth moms, I have heard a few stories and also had the rundown of do's & don't's as a birthmom for the best interest of the child & new family. So first off, I know where those nightmare birth moms are coming from. There is nothing is the world you can compare to being a birthmom & all the heartache that comes with it. But I think most "normal" birth moms, including myself, just admire the adoptive parents so much that they trust in them in whatever decisions they make when it comes to their family. I also like to keep my distance because after all, I chose this life for my son & i want them to have the full parental experience as they should. Although I have no shame in asking for a picture or video when I'm missing him a little more than usual or an update on new milestones :) but I would never ever try to tell them how to parent out of respect and also because it's very likely they know a lot more about any parental situation than I do. Which is one reason why I chose adoption and chose them. & probably why a lot of other birth moms made the same decision, raising babies is hard! & I don't have any idea of how to do it the right way. So I'll forever leave it up to them :)
I never write about my story because to me adoption is so hard to describe from all angles & emotions, but for this I just had to to hopefully effectively show not all birth moms are crazy! So if you're a prospective adoptive parent reading this, adopt that baby! Babies in the U.S need good homes just as much as babies in other parts of the world. And the majority of us birth moms just need a picture and an update every now & again & our day is made :)
Here are some pictures of the four of us :)
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