God created us to have a deep longing in our souls. Because of the fall, we are prone to fill that deep longing with anything other than Him. And while those other things may not be inherently bad, Paul Tripp put it perfectly when he said “The desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when that desire becomes a ruling thing."
God teaches us in His word that Jesus will satisfy our deepest desires. What His word doesn’t promise us is everything we desire. The good, good news of the Gospel is that God does not withhold good from us – He has already given us everything we need through Christ’s work on the cross. In this season of waiting, maybe He is challenging you to pursue the true desire of your heart – more of Him. Only when He rules the throne of our hearts will we feel truly satisfied.
When we replace Jesus with growing our families (or marriage, success, the list of idols goes on), it can be evident in our behaviors and the posture of our hearts. It breeds jealously, anger, and hopelessness. I can remember seasons where I would cringe when another adoptive family matched. Why them and not us? Tim Keller said that idols enslave us and produce in us a drivenness since we must have whatever that idol is. Adoptive mamas have a special grit about them. And while I think going after the things God has placed on our hearts is wonderful, let us not become so consumed with the process that the drivenness in our hearts steers us away from our Savior. When He is the desire of our hearts, our response turns from anger and jealousy to that of contentment, peace, and joy.
Our circumstances will never fully satisfy us. While a baby in your arms will momentarily satisfy your heart, the longing for something else will eventually creep back in. Only in our nearness to Him will we feel truly satisfied.
Maybe you’re in a season like I found myself where you are realizing that adoption has been put on a pedestal it was never meant to be on. Fix your eyes back on the Lord, sweet sister. Repent and focus your energy on abiding in Him. When our focus is on Him and not what we hope He will give us, all those things we’ve been putting in His place will fall back into their right order.
All seasons of waiting are hard. I never want to diminish what a struggle it is. Let’s be reminded in this difficult season that our hope isn’t in that future child. While the desire for a family is a good desire, our ultimate desire in this season (and every season) should be finding our everything in Him, whether it ends with a baby in our arms or not.
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