Adoption Story: Chris and Lindsay

One of my favorite parts of this job is to watch an adoptive family realize that adoption is so much more than just adding a little one to the family.  It's about coming alongside a woman in crisis and supporting, encouraging, and praying for her through every step of the process.  It was such an honor to watch Chris and Lindsay do just that!

Lindsay and I first chatted over the phone last fall.  She and her husband were hoping to start their family through adoption and were exploring all of their options.  A few short weeks later they decided working with Christian Adoption Consultants and domestic adoption was where the Lord was leading them.  They started working on their home study and by January were ready to apply to our recommended agencies.  A little over a month after sending off their applications they were matched and began to develop a wonderful relationship with their daughter's birth mom. Lindsay shares more of their adoption story below.

Chris and I decided early in our relationship that we wanted to pursue adoption as our way of growing a family. Last fall, we were finally in a place to start the adoption of our first child. We completed our paperwork with our consultant, Leah, at Christian Adoption Consultants in early November and our Home Study was finalized in January. We were open to a variety of special needs and several situations came through our email over the following weeks. We agreed to present our profile to one of the birth mothers, but we were not chosen. We had been prayerful about that situation and had tried not to become too attached, but hearing “no” made us start to wonder how long we would wait. Leah was ever kind and encouraging and we knew that God had called us to adopt, so we prayed for that birth mother and the adoptive family as we waited for our match. A couple weeks later, we were inundated with situations. We had four new birth mothers to consider within 48 hours. For various reasons, we were unable to present to the first three. By the middle of the second day, we were emotionally raw and exhausted. We had prayed about the situations, lost sleep over a baby alone in a hospital, sent several emails, and made many phone calls, but we were no closer to being matched with a child. Feeling defeated, I checked my email and a fourth situation had come through from Leah. Chris and I read it and felt absolute peace about this situation. We both knew without hesitation that we wanted to present. The birth mother, C, reviewed our profile and requested a phone call with us later that week. We were matched after the phone call on February 26.

We made arrangements to go to visit C in April before her due date in June. We were very apprehensive about this visit. We had spoken with other adoptive parents and we had been assured that, despite the strangeness of the relationship between birth and adoptive parents, somehow God creates something beautiful. We had a wonderful weekend with our birth mom and her sister. It was not awkward as we had feared and we have developed a unique relationship with her, only possible by the grace of God. 

Our beautiful, healthy baby girl was born on June 14, 2016. We combined our chosen name with the birth mother’s and named her Evelyn Grace Kaylyn. We call her “Evie Grace.” During the hospital stay, C told us she wanted to stay as long as she could with the baby and would delay her discharge until Evie Grace could leave. While we wanted to spend every moment with our girl, we tried to keep our visits short until discharge so that C could have the time that she needed. After ICPC clearance, we met with her again before returning home. That’s when we realized how much it meant to her to have had those two days. She was very thankful for time to say goodbye and for frequent updates since discharge.

It’s difficult to describe the relationship we now have with C because people find it so unbelievable. How could the birth mother and adoptive parents have a friendly relationship? We text and email frequently and I find that I look forward to sharing with her all of the landmarks and funny stories, because I know she will be as excited about them as we are. We may never understand why she chose adoption but we know that she loves this precious child and desires good for her just like we do. We are so grateful to her and we admire her for choosing life and adoption, even though this was not an easy choice. We pray for her because we truly care about her and we want the very best for her future. We thank God that we had an open adoption, despite our reservations, because this beautiful soul is now a part of our story and our family.

If you are interested in learning more about domestic adoption email me at leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com

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Father's Day CAC Discount

As Father's Day approaches, I can't help but think of how the Lord is bringing families together everyday through adoption.

I am so grateful to get to be a small part of building families through adoption, to see children placed with their forever moms and forever dads. At Christian Adoption Consultants, we are inspired by the message in the New Testament that states we are adopted into God's family as believers.  That we are his children, and he is our Abba Father.

God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who He is, and we know who we are: Father and children. Romans 8:15 (MSG)

In honor of all of our CAC dads, we are offering one of our rare specials to help make the cost of adoption a bit more attainable. We are happy to be sharing 10% off all of our top packages, from June 13-17th.  (Special note: this does not apply to our DIY package).

If adoption has been on your heart, and you aren't sure where to begin, I would love to chat with you more! For a glimpse of other family's stories and fathers who took the step to adopt, click here.

Want more info on Christian Adoption Consultants?  Click here.
What does it mean to hire an adoption consultant?  Click here.
Want to get started or get an info packet?  Click here.
What if you have more questions?  Click here.

Have friends who are thinking about adoption? Make sure you share this post! 

Email me at leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com for an application and information packet.

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Adoption Story: Josh and Hannah (part TWO)

I'm picking right back up with Josh and Hannah's adoption story and the incredible ways God provided in the days after finding out they were matched. Back in the summer when they put their "yes" on the table for adoption they were attending a concert and the lyrics "I don't know what's coming, but it's going to be good" played on repeat and in those moments they trusted God had something BIG and GOOD for them. Oh my was good...

We were matched with the girls on April 8th, and they were originally scheduled to be delivered on April 25th. Well, on April 14th we got a call that the delivery had been moved up a week and the girls were coming that Monday, April 18th! We were still 30K shy of our goal, and in 24 hours we raised 16,000 dollars which was matched by an incredible donor, to bring us to our goal!!! I couldn't believe all the people that rallied around us - so many people shared our video on Facebook, and so many names I didn't even recognized ended up on our donor list. Another crazy part to all of this is, Josh had to pick what day to take a huge medical school test back in November, he picked April 15th as his date for the test, we had been praying through our adoption that something would happen in the two weeks he has off after the test, because it's practically his only time off school all year, well the girls were born Monday morning, the first day of his two weeks off! We were blown away by how every detail was taken care of. If God is calling you to do something big and scary, I can tell you with confidence to jump. You will be amazed. 

And just like that they had everything they needed to welcome these sweet girls into the world.

Meet Olive and Ezra.

Aren't they the sweetest?

Describe your time spent with Ezra and Olive’s birthmom.
We are so blessed to have L in our lives now. The first time we talked to her we talked for over 2 hours and we just knew right away that this was it. We were so excited to finally meet her the night before the girls were born. We are ALL so nervous. She was so beautiful and she was so steady. She kept saying that she knew her job was to find the perfect parents for these girls. She called us her guardian angels. I felt so honored that she wanted us both to be in the delivery room with her.

I held her hand during the epidural, and rubbed her head during the c-section. I told her she was my hero, and she said "no, you are mine". But it was hard. It was so hard to see her say goodbye to the girls, even though I know it wasn't goodbye forever. She is an incredible woman and Josh and I are completely humbled, and grateful and honored that she chose us to be these girls parents.

What was the most unexpected challenge of your adoption?
As with all adoptions, there are always up and downs, and turns you didn't expect. We thought that domestic adoption would be cheaper than international, and with Josh in medical school, and me working for a small non-profit we barely had any extra funds. We were terrified when we found our the situation we were matched with was going to go be almost double what we had planned - We were amazed by the number of people that came round us to help us reach our goal.

What was the most unexpected blessing of this process?
Well, the BIGGEST unexpected blessing was definitely that we were matched with TWINS! We knew our adoption story would be big and crazy, but I never once thought we would have TWINS! (Josh said he knew the whole time. ha!) But now, I can't imagine anything else. I am so thankful a friend with twins, the night that we were deciding to present our profile or not told us not let fear be the determining factor. How quickly we can't imagine life without these girls! The other unexpected blessing was the friendships that came out of the adoption process. It truly takes a village, and the community of other adoptive moms and families became some of our greatest friends. They were the ones texted us constantly checking up on how everything was going, they listened when the wait got hard, they gave donations and shared posts. We are so grateful for the lasting friends we made through the small world of adoption.

Congratulations Josh and Hannah! I love that your "something bigger" and "something good" meant not just adoption, but TWINS!

If you are interested in learning more about domestic adoption and working with Christian Adoption Consultants email me at leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com

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Adoption Story: Josh and Hannah (part ONE)

I've been dying to share this adoption story with you all! God's hand is all over this sweet couple's story and it was incredible to watch it unfold.

Hannah and I reconnected through the wonderful world of Instagram last summer. She and her husband, Josh, were looking into starting the adoption process and she happened to stumble across my Instagram page and knew she knew me from somewhere. We quickly made the connection that we did in fact know each other and had attended the same summer camp every summer as kids and that Hannah's aunt was the Children's Director at the church I grew up in. We spent some time catching up and talking more about adoption and our services at Christian Adoption Consultants. A couple weeks later Hannah and her husband signed on and began working on their home study.


Tell us about how you landed on adoption as the way to start your family?
Josh and I always knew we wanted to grow our family through adoption. The question was when. I work for a global orphan care organization, and we have a lot of friends who have adopted internationally, and we always thought we would too! But this year, we were at a Johnnyswim concert and while they sang the words "I don't know what's coming but I know it's going to be good" Josh and I felt this huge push that it was time to start our adoption. Within a few days, we both felt like God pushed us towards domestic adoption, which truthfully, was never really on our radar before. The more we learned about the opportunity to be a part of not only a child's story, but a birthmother, we felt like domestic adoption was the way that we should go. We wanted adoption to be our Plan A.

By the beginning of January their home study was finished and they were ready apply to our agencies. Over the next two months, I began forwarding over situations to them, but none were the right fit for one reason or another. Hannah confided in me that they really hoped to bring a little one home by May. Josh had a break from medical school at that time and it would work best for their family. So, we hoped and prayed for the perfect situation to come along within that timeframe. At the end of March, within minutes of each other, Hannah emailed me about a situation she saw posted with one of our agencies just as I was sending her a text to see if she had seen the post. Emails and phone calls were made and by the next morning their yes was on the table for TWIN girls and they were sending off the necessary documents to present to the expectant mom. The following week seemed to slowly tick by and calamity of obstacles arose that are laughable now, but at the time were clearly the enemy's attempt at discouraging this precious family from moving forward. Then on Friday, they got the call that the expectant mom, "L", wanted to talk with them over the phone. After two hours on the phone with "L", they heard the wonderful news she wanted to move forward with them!! Hannah shares more details below...

God faithfulness was so evident throughout your journey. Will you share more about the incredible ways He provided for your family in the days leading up to the birth of your sweet girls?
I have never felt or experience God's provision and faithfulness the way we experienced it through our adoption. There were so many little and BIG ways that God was revealed himself through out story. We decided to adopt on August 7, and on May 7th (exactly nine months) we flew home with our twin girls! I have this thing for the number 37. It began popping up in my life, maybe 10 years ago and it would show up in big moments of life or just mundane moments. My family didn’t believe me at first, but they have witnessed the craziest, countless times that this number has appeared. Josh and I filled out some registries early in our adoption, and many of them are not adoption friendly, you have to put in a due date. So we would always put March 7 (37) as our due date. We always thought something significant would happen on March 7. We were excited when March 7th arrived, we thought for sure we would get a situation that day and it would be a little sign that this was IT! But March 7th came and went with silence. At the end of the day, we were both a little sad that nothing happened on our 37 day. But, the first time we talked to our daughters birthmom, one of the questions (of many!) was "what are your favorite holidays?" Josh told her how much I love my birthday, and I explained that I love my birthday because I am always surrounded by family. She asked when my birthday was (see where this is going?) and I said June 30, and I asked her when hers was… and she said MARCH 7TH. Josh and my mouth fell open. I think there was a silent shock on the phone. There was a 37 in our profile book, so we had “L” open the book and we told her the whole story. This may seem insignificant, but to us, it was big. It made us feel like we are right where we should be.

I have never heard God speak audibly, until our adoption process. I was pray daydreaming, going between asking God to give us a crazy adoption story, to then getting scared and telling him I was just kidding about that, when I heard him clearly say "Hannah I have the best surprise for you."... About two months later we got matched with TWINS. 

Stay tuned for Part Two of this family's story!

If you are interested in learning more about domestic adoption email me at leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com

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Adoption Story: Tanner and Jenny

After hanging up the phone from our first conversation, I just knew I was going to love working with Tanner and Jenny!  This sweet couple had their yes on the table for the Lord and waited faithfully for Him to work together all the details of their adoption.  Their story is truly one in which the Lord made something beautiful out of what the enemy meant for harm.

Tanner and Jenny got started with Christian Adoption Consultants in May 2015.   By the middle of the summer, they were finishing up their home study and were ready to apply to our multiple agencies. The week before Christmas they heard the wonderful news that they were matched with an expectant mother and the began building a beautiful open relationship with her.  Jenny describes their story here...

We always hoped that adoption would be a part of our families' story but didn't know what that would look like. About a year after our biological daughter Hanelle was born, Tanner was diagnosed with cancer. After his successful treatment we experienced infertility and God made it clear to our hearts that this was the time for us to adopt. We learned so much about The Lord's faithfulness and provision - when we wondered about finances, He provided just what we needed. When we felt discouraged, He used you (Leah!) and others to encourage us and remind us that each step (and each no from an expectant mother) had a purpose. He guided us to Charlie's birth mother and used her graciousness to bless us when we were mourning the death of Tanner's dad. And most of all, He brought Charlie into our family!

Meet their son, Charlie.

Isn't he precious?!  God is truly in the business of writing beautiful stories and I'm so grateful I had a front seat at watching this one unfold!

Congratulations, Tanner and Jenny!

If you are interested in learning more about domestic adoption email me at leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com

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The name, "Mom"

I'm grateful to be able to have adoptive mama, Rena Vawter, sharing with you some vulnerable words from her heart about the first time her daughter referred to her birthmom as, Mom.  I hope it serves as an encouragement to those who may struggle with similar feelings and gives you the perspective to see it as a blessing and respond with the same amount of grace! 

The name "mom"... It is a name of endearment, affection, and love for me. It resembles someone who loves fiercely, always protects. It's a title given to those held dear. It's a title of selflessness.

So, if my perception of this name is so dear and comforting, why did it stir up a scorching fire of fear the first time I heard my daughter use it?

It was the first time she used it in reference to "her". You know....her other mom. The one who will be the only one to ever know how it feels to carry my sweet baby girl within her. The one who knew of her first. The one who loved her first.

I'm not happy to admit that an ugly fear welled up in a flash and it completely caught me off guard. You see.... We've been intentional from day one to be open with our kids. We whispered love messages before they were old enough to understand words. We have told them their stories over and over. We pray for each birthmother daily. We want to be a support to our kids in any relationship they desire with their first parents.

And yet, on that day, several years ago now, it was only fear that rose up faster than I even knew what was happening. I wanted to correct my sweet daughter. I wanted to explain that MY name was "mom". I wanted to feel secure in her love towards me.

Thankfully, I stopped my tongue and let it pass, appearing to be calm inside... All the while I was recognizing what ugliness had risen up. At that point, I knew I had a choice. My choices were to selfishly reserve that name for myself and contradict every other message we had intended to send our children; OR I could lay it down. I could lay down my selfishness and insecurity, and consider the feelings of my daughter. What a GIFT this was!! My daughter felt secure enough to call another woman "mom" right in front of me. What a blessing!!!!! She was seeing that the beautiful woman who shares her smile as part of herself, as someone who will always love her. She was understanding that she was FREE to love two moms, two families. I came so close to ruining it. The very freedom that I desperately wanted to give my kids. I'm so very thankful God helped me control my tongue, recognize my sinful thoughts, and surrender them to Him.

I LOVE that she calls her "mom"! I LOVE that my daughter is so special she gets two moms who love her endlessly, protect her fiercely, and always want what is best for her. What a privilege it is for me to be this little girl's mom. And it's all because of her... My daughter's other mom. What an honor to share this title with her!!!

-Written by, Rena Vawter in 2014

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Adoption Story: Congratulations Eddy and Libby

I’m so excited to share this beautiful family’s adoption story today!  Like many of the families I work with, I grew to love this sweet family!  Adoption is not always easy but through it all this family put God’s glory on display and loved big and well. 

Last October Libby emailed me after stumbling across my blog.  She and her husband, Eddy, were pursuing international adoption and were in the thick of waiting.  When they heard it could be a couple more years until they would receive a referral for their international adoption, they decided to look into doing a concurrent domestic adoption.   After getting approval from their international adoption agency to begin a concurrent adoption, they got started with CAC.  Libby used her amazing photography and design skills to create a beautiful profile book for their family while they worked on converting their home study.  In January they were officially ready to start the matching process.  Six months later I got to make the best call to let them know they had been matched with an expectant mother!  Over the coming months they developed a relationship with her and eagerly awaited their new arrival. 

Two months later baby boy was on his way and they rushed to make travel arrangements.  Over the next couple days this family was faced with many challenges but through it all they trusted God’s plan and continued to love big and well!  

Meet Leo Judah

His big brother and sister are smitten! 

What a blessing it was to watch this family faithfully follow God’s lead throughout their journey to Leo!  I have no doubt God has big plans for this baby boy's life!  

Congratulations Eddy and Libby!  

If you are interested in learning more about domestic adoption email me at leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com 

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Domestic Adoption Myths

As an adoptive momma and adoption consultant, I spend a lot of time dispelling the myths of domestic adoption.  Many people have received their adoption education from lifetime movies or hearsay from a friend of a friend’s cousin.  Today I’m going to spend some time talking about some of the common myths I hear.

The birth parents can change their mind at any time and take the baby away.

No, it’s not like the movies.  There are three important events that take place during an adoption:

1. The first is when the birth parents sign consent. Consent refers to the agreement by the birth parents to relinquish all legal rights and duties of the child.  State laws vary as to when consent can be signed.  But, on average consent can be signed immediately after birth to 72 hours after birth.
2. The second important event is revocation.  This refers to the period of time that the birth parents have to change their mind after signing consent.  The revocation period varies from state to state.   In some states, consents are irrevocable after execution.  CAC works in states where consents are irrevocable in order to reduce risks for adoptive families.
3. The third and final step is finalization.  Finalization is the last legal step to gain permanent, legal custody of the child. 

Birth moms are young teenage girls.

"Was her birth mom really young?" - I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked this question about our daughter’s birth mother.  Not every woman who places her child for adoption is young.  In fact, most of the adoption plans we see at CAC are made by women in their mid to late 20’s.  Some are parenting other children.  Some are working on their education and career and aren’t in a place to raise a child.  Whatever the case may be, they share a common desire of wanting to provide a better life for their child.  

It takes years to adopt domestically.

This is simply not true for families working with Christian Adoption Consultants because of our multi-agency approach.  Working with multiple agencies increases your exposure to adoption situations and decreases wait times.  Families working with CAC wait an average of 6-10 months.

We have to be rich to adopt.

I work with families of all income levels.  During the home study process, you will have to prove your family can financially accommodate for another child.  Is adoption expensive?  Yes, it can be.  However, many families offset the cost of adopting by fundraising and applying for adoption grants.

Birth moms are selfish people who don't want their child. 

This couldn’t be further from the truth.  A birth moms chooses to put her baby's needs before her own and place it with a loving family.  That takes a deep love and selflessness.  Watching our daughter's birth mom grieve her decision was one of the hardest things I have ever seen.  There is no question in my mind that she wanted our daughter more than anything!  But, she wanted more for her daughter than she felt like she could give her.

We already have 3+ kids… no birth parents will choose us.

Each birthparent has different criteria that they would like for the adoptive family.  Some desire for their child to be placed in a family with no children.  Others want their baby to have a brother or sister.  And some grew up in large families and want their child to have a similar experience.  We see families who have 3+ children get chosen by birth parents all the time. 

Hiring an adoption consultant is an unnecessary additional expense.

Listen, I get it!  I have been there.  When my husband and I began pursuing domestic adoption we had the same thoughts.  We were a one income family at the time and my husband was a full time seminary student.  We didn’t exactly have extra money floating around.  In fact, we didn’t even have enough money in savings to pay for our home study.  So, when someone told me about hiring a consultant, my first thought was, I can totally do this myself.  And then I started to do research and I was completely overwhelmed.  Hiring an adoption consultant was the best thing we ever did.  Instantly we were connected to reputable, ethical agencies and resources to help us through every step of the process. 

Here is what one of my families recently said about working with CAC:
I can’t imagine someone going through an adoption without a “Leah” in their corner.  You have been beyond supportive.  I know it’s your job but the prayers go beyond the job and for that we are forever grateful.

Christian Adoption Consultants are truly amazing people who do an incredible job walking families through their adoption journey.  We are so thankful to have Leah beside us each step of the way!  She herself has adopted and she personally knows the feelings that we will and are experiencing along the way.  We are thankful for her knowledge, support, kind encouraging words, and her prayers!

Considering adoption? I'd love to chat with you more about working with CAC! Email me at Leah@christianadoptionconsultants.com

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